The secret price of fashion
I am pleased and relieved to report I have finally managed to prize my thumb off my big toenail. No, this isn't, in fact, the reason why I have been absent from the world of blogging and social networking for the last two weeks. Other, deeper, more personal and arcane reasons altogether are responsible, so being glued to my toenail probably stands as a useful sort of metaphor and readers will have to ponder the real reason (if they could ever be bothered ...).
But why such a predicament in the first place? The story is (as you might expect) long ... or at least has its origins in the mists of time, back when I was a girl and one of my aunt's horses trod its heavily shod hoof upon my hapless toe, seriously damaging the nail. And, be it years later, off it eventually had to come. But although losing a toenail isn't really such a big deal (there are many worse things to lose as we all know), in summer, with open toed shoes and sandals, it does pose a problem, if only cosmetically.
I think I must have been one of the first people to dream up applying stick on false finger nails to solve the problem (now you can actually get false toenails too). My sister - a podiatrist - applauded the solution and now even recommends it to those of her patients with similar problems. It's very effective! Painted over with colourful nail polish no-one ever knows. Of course there have been the odd awkward occasions when I have tripped over something and then the nail flips dramatically off, to the clear horror of uninitiated observers: "Oh my God, your toe nail ....!"
But real the problem is applying the nail in the first place, which brings us to the sticky world of Super Glue. I never know how much is enough (even now) and usually apply too much, which then oozes everywhere and, as you have to hold the nail down firmly with your thumb for several seconds to get it to stick, there is always the scary moment when you realise that your thumb and the nail have bonded - in perpetuity. Sometimes (as today) you even get stuck to the floor ...
There has to be a tale in this somewhere, some deeper underlying significance, which I will leave readers to ponder, as it eludes me. In the meantime I continue with nervous panicky feelings every time summer (or open-toed shoe occasions) present and a new toenail application must be contemplated. Being such a slave to your image comes at a price I guess.
A sticky end
Images of painted toenails and Super Glue were both taken from the web.